The same thing happened to me yesterday. Not with coffee, but a trigger that caused me to spiral for a few hours afterward. I went on a podcast that the host uploaded on YouTube afterward. People make comments afterward, and I started reading those about my episode. One commenter said I was the worst guest that the host had ever had on the podcast, and that I was self-absorbed. Even though I knew she was a keyboard warrior, I got upset. Those were words I used to hear from my mother, and it took me back. I'm better today, but all day yesterday I questioned if I was a narcissist or selfish, and so on. Thanks for sharing how little acts of aggression can cause a cascade in our nervous systems.
Oh Ilona, just when I think I can't be shocked at people's cruelty anymore, I hear something like your story. I guess it's true that we shouldn't read the comments. People can be such jerks. You are a beautiful person and wonderful writer, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Jane, thank you for reminding me of that. I felt so misunderstood in that moment, and it frustrated me that my hubby wasn't taking it seriously. I know he tries. I told him I wished he would read a book about trauma/PTSD so he would understand, but I'm not hopeful. Part of him thinks it's all mumbo jumbo.
That is very kind of you to ask, Carolyn. I think in the last year I have tried everything from acupuncture to hypnosis because my desperation to heal was so strong. I don't use as many techniques since figuring out for myself what really works and what doesn't. With a dysregulated nervous system wired for trauma, it takes time and struggle before it calms down and acts normally.
The first thing I do is sing in the car after dropping off my daughter at school, whether I feel like it or not, because I know it stimulates my vagus nerve (which controls the whole nervous system). After trying several good meditation apps (including a hypnosis one), the one i use the most is Calm. They have EMDR music for bilateral brain stimulation (kind of like a massage for the brain), and I often use their meditations. They're about ten minutes long and offer some great advice. I spend some time sitting outside and trying to focus on staying present and, of course, writing also helps big time.
You've inspired me to talk more at length about the journey and the different techniques I've learned in a longer article. I do feel a lot better, and I want other people to heal, too.
The same thing happened to me yesterday. Not with coffee, but a trigger that caused me to spiral for a few hours afterward. I went on a podcast that the host uploaded on YouTube afterward. People make comments afterward, and I started reading those about my episode. One commenter said I was the worst guest that the host had ever had on the podcast, and that I was self-absorbed. Even though I knew she was a keyboard warrior, I got upset. Those were words I used to hear from my mother, and it took me back. I'm better today, but all day yesterday I questioned if I was a narcissist or selfish, and so on. Thanks for sharing how little acts of aggression can cause a cascade in our nervous systems.
Oh Ilona, just when I think I can't be shocked at people's cruelty anymore, I hear something like your story. I guess it's true that we shouldn't read the comments. People can be such jerks. You are a beautiful person and wonderful writer, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us. You are not alone
Jane, thank you for reminding me of that. I felt so misunderstood in that moment, and it frustrated me that my hubby wasn't taking it seriously. I know he tries. I told him I wished he would read a book about trauma/PTSD so he would understand, but I'm not hopeful. Part of him thinks it's all mumbo jumbo.
That has to be frustrating. The trauma reactions are so real.
Thanks for sharing your journey. It can’t be easy to do. Can you speak a little about how you’ve learned to deal with it?
That is very kind of you to ask, Carolyn. I think in the last year I have tried everything from acupuncture to hypnosis because my desperation to heal was so strong. I don't use as many techniques since figuring out for myself what really works and what doesn't. With a dysregulated nervous system wired for trauma, it takes time and struggle before it calms down and acts normally.
The first thing I do is sing in the car after dropping off my daughter at school, whether I feel like it or not, because I know it stimulates my vagus nerve (which controls the whole nervous system). After trying several good meditation apps (including a hypnosis one), the one i use the most is Calm. They have EMDR music for bilateral brain stimulation (kind of like a massage for the brain), and I often use their meditations. They're about ten minutes long and offer some great advice. I spend some time sitting outside and trying to focus on staying present and, of course, writing also helps big time.
You've inspired me to talk more at length about the journey and the different techniques I've learned in a longer article. I do feel a lot better, and I want other people to heal, too.